WHOA I actually got my wallet back after I replaced everything o_O So apparently I dropped it somewhere in the bus after I showed my U-Pass to the bus driver. Whoever picked it up is kind and honest to turn it to TransLink lost and found. And ironically everything is still in my wallet including the money! *o*

It's amazing... There are indeed good people in this world =D

Whoever found my wallet THANK YOU SO MUCH =DDD

Seriously what the fuck!?

Like look I am doing a co-op term during this semester meaning I am still considered a student who is attending post-secondary. According to my student loan  account my status is "In-study" If so then why the fuck it's still taking my money out of my account!? And on top of that there's a $5 service charge each time it fucking taking my money away!! Like FUCK man what that fuck are the government people doing. Taking my money anyways knowing that I am still in school??? I fucking hate government people- making us pay tax and stuff to pay these lazyass who doesn't do shit... WHAT THE FUCK!! God fucking dame it... if I know this would happen I would NEVER borrow any money from the government in my life!

So a friend introduced someone M who works for the RCMP to me and M took us on a criminal trip tonight (driving along Hasting St showing us where are the prostitutes/drugs dealers/drunkies/pubs/gun shooting/etc etc)

When M drove me home we started talking about different kinds of stuff
Then he started asking me about my love history
Upon hearing what I said about that unforgivable person, his reaction was "you know what that guy was double dating"
Great, so nice to hear that. I regret talking about it again
Not that M could be 100% right, since he constantly deals with people of the darker side because of his work, it's only natural that he thinks people badly immediately
But I feel as million years will not make me feel better
Maybe I am just going to be like this for the rest of my life
I would rather believe that since there is no evidence, that bastard wasn't really cheating on me
Will finding out that he cheated on me make me feel better? No. That will just make me hate him even more

Look it's like over a year already and I am still like that
No one can save me Time cannot save me I am just hopeless
Nothing will save me
Sometime I would just rather die than this eternal suffering
生無可戀 is like that perfect 成語 to describe me

剛剛從我老豆發生車禍的地方走回家
So my father was on his way to church and got hit by another car when he was crossing the intersection of Cariboo Road and Armstrong
It was the other car's head hitting our mini van sideway
We don't know which one of us was the one who was crossing the red light since we weren't there when that happened
There was a witness but we don't know what she saw
After we got a call about the accident we rushed to the intersection
Police car and fire truck and ambulance flashing light everywhere
I was relieved that he didn't get hurt
The other driver looked like she was dizzy but that's all

Different feelings flowing inside me many things came across my mind
I felt relieved that there was no serious injury
I felt bitter as if our mini van will no longer be used
I felt angry that he doesn't seem to care about things around him
I felt... I don't know what else I felt

He said "I don't know/remember whether it was green or red light at that moment"
It wasn't the first time. Daydreaming or 放空-ing when you are driving
First time, he did a left turn right when there was another car going straight
Second time, he just went ahead and changed lane when some other car was like right there
Third time, he hit the accelerator when it was yellow light and hit the car in front of him
This time. I don't know if he 匆紅燈
If this keeps on happening, maybe someday there will be casualties... maybe someday he will...
This thought scares me a lot

What if. Maybe. What if. Maybe. What if. Maybe.

Other than worrying about his well being,
I already lost count how much was spent for car accidents
I don't know which side will be responsible for everything...... Maybe nobody, maybe one side, maybe both side...

And our mini van... the mini van that carried us around for over 10 years... the mini van that went through a lot and still managed to keep on moving...
I don't know if we will get to see it again this time...

Combining all these together it's more like

"What just happened!? Why would this happen!? I wish this didn't happen!!"

Oh right I feel confused too
I wonder whether there are the reasons for God making this happen or it was simply an unfortunate coincidence
What is this A test to see whether you will stay believing in Him even when you feel like he abandoned you?
If so then there's no point since he will just accept it and keep on believing
For me I probably failed half a year ago

And I feel defeated that I am still the same old me who always fail to think on the bright side
Only thinking about all the bad things
I mean, ICBC hasn't even start inspecting anything yet Who knows what's gonna happen
Before knowing whether the worst case scenario will happen I am already thinking why should the worst case scenario happen


I don't know and I don't have the time to worry even more
Work at 5am in the morning so got to call the taxi and sleep early
Night

So fucking pissed off
返工受氣 返屋企都受氣
祗不過是一份工 je, 有需要因為它而縮短壽命 n 年呀
祗不過是要你洗幾隻碗 je, 有需要邊洗邊爆粗呀
其他人洗碗就理所當然
你洗碗就 o係 度 "diu" 前 "diu" 後
你試o下繼續晚晚 "diu" 呀 信唔信我忍唔住毒鬼啞你
等你 "diu" 得咁過癮
真係佛都有火

Okay
Complain complete (I hope)
File closed for now (I hope)